we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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