dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Randomize
