somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Im just a social blackout drinker.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
