What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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