The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You are the jesus of drinking
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
