she looked like the bat from fern gully.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
