Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(859): View more from Kentucky

Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?

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(309): View more from Illinois

I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time

(1-309): View more from Illinois

I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating

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(845): View more from New York

no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.

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(925): View more from California

Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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(772): View more from Florida

I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates

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(802): View more from Vermont

No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.

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(319): View more from Iowa

Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?

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(585): View more from New York

You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.

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(503): View more from Oregon

Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.

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