So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
