His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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