i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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