Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
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