I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Randomize
