Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
They took my balls.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
