I think I am morally bankrupt
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
