I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
