Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
