forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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