Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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