i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
