we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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