i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
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