That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
