I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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