He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
