Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
