I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
