I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
