a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
This is classic penis vs brain.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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