i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
