yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
