the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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