i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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