Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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