Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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