i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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