I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
