Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
