I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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