He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
