She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
