Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
