Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
