And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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