If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
