This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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