chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
