Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
