Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
