i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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