two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
