Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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