do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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