I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize