Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
