I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
