Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
She announced her abortion via fbk
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
