Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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