I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
