I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He literally asked permission to hit on me
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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