Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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