I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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