Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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