and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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