um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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